Recipes

"Look at this, Donna. Doesn't that look good?" Mom turned my daughter-in-law, Addie's, Food Network Magazine so I could see the photograph of Paula Deen's Frozen Chocolate Mousse Pie.

I exclaimed how yummy it looked all the while confused. Why was she so interested in recipes? She doesn't cook any more. Perhaps it would be fun for her to do a little cooking, I thought. "Let me get a picture of the recipe on my phone and you can come to my house soon and we can make it together."

She studied the magazine cover, wondering if she might be able to get a subscription to it. She asked Addie where she might buy it. Addie told her the grocery stores carry them. "You can take some of my old issues, Gram."

On the drive home from Thanksgiving with Brian & Addie and the kids, Mom sat in the back seat looking at her magazines. "There are a lot of great recipes here, Donna. I'd like to copy some of them into a notebook. One of these days I'll have my own place again and do my own cooking."

I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth; tell her she will never live on her own again. In the meantime, I have another idea of something I can do with her when I visit--look through the Food Network Magazine and write down recipes together!


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Location:Gile Rd,Nottingham,United States

Visiting Mom

It makes me sad that there is very little to talk about when I stop in to visit Mom. I find myself longing for ideas of what we could do together when I visit. Nothing comes to mind. She used to love watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" every day. On my last visit, I turned on her TV and discovered that show was on so we watched it until I left. She didn't seem to remember having seen it. "Do you want me to leave the TV on?" I asked as I gave her a good-bye hug. "No. Shut it off. It's just a bunch of noise to me," she said.

We recently removed her computer from her room. She has forgotten how to turn it on and how to play Mahjong and Bookworm. She crochets creations of her own design and glues them to watercolor paper, confusing it with the quilling technique she has done over the years--twisting strips of paper into flower petals and such and gluing them onto card stock.

I am so proud of her though as she perseveres through each day and keeps herself busy. On nearly every visit, she sends me home with pencil drawings that she is certain her great grandchildren will enjoy coloring. As I contemplate them in solitude, I recognize the labor of love and chastise myself for dismissing them and assuming no kid would want them. I resolve to make sure they get distributed and decide I will request more on their behalf. It even occurs to me I could sit and draw with her!

I feel her slipping away. I drive away from a half hour visit wondering what the future holds. What will it be like when she no longer knows who I am? How will I handle that? She is healthy as a horse, she will live a long time. Alzheimer's will be her demise. The thought makes me tremble as I try to shake it out of my head.








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Location:Gile Rd,Nottingham,United States

Pedicure

When I was a thirty-something mom, my mother was a fifty-something daughter who dutifully clipped her eighty-something mother-in-law's toenails. Just the thought of it always made me cringe! Ewwwe!

A little known fact not disclosed to novices making assisted living arrangements for a loved one is that only RNs can clip nails. I was shocked the other day when Mom said, "I asked if someone would clip my toenails. No one would, so I did it myself." Knowing she didn't have clippers in her possession, I asked how she did it. "I used my crochet scissors and cut off the one that was digging in to my other toe." Her voice betrayed a hint of that sing-songy, na-na-nana-naaa-naa sound.

I of course scolded her. I of course inquired of the on-duty attendant.
"I'm so sorry but we can't cut her toe nails. There is some one who comes in, I think every eight weeks or so. Do you want me to set her up?"

"No. Thank you very much. That won't work. Mom can't wait." She needed her nails cut, and NOW!

You guessed it. Yours truly sat on the floor and did the dirty deed! And it wasn't so bad. Surprisingly, it seemed natural to put the icing on the pedicure by massaging her feet with Oil of Olay body lotion. "Wow, I guess my feet are getting some pampering!" said Mom. I looked up and smiled as she gazed down at me with her wide, toothless grin.

It wasn't so bad. Even so, I cannot imagine a day when I would sit as my daughter clipped my toenails! Ewwwe!


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Location:Gile Rd,Nottingham,United States

Perm

Mom got her perm this morning! She refused to put her teeth back in her mouth for a picture though. We looked through her jewelry still hanging on her bathroom wall in her old apartment and she found a few things. She is looking more like herself again even though she is never really sure where she is geographically any more. I guess two moves in six months, plus the dreadful, aborted vacation to the cottage in Maine may have contributed.




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Location:Gile Rd,Nottingham,United States

Shower Every Day?

"Am I going to see Dr. Goldman?" Mom asked as we walked to the car.

"No. We are going to the doctor who looked at your face."

"I hate that doctor!"

"Mom! How can you say that? You saw him only once!"

She argued it didn't matter, she didn't like him and that was that! I let it go. We sat in the waiting room. She fidgeted. When the nurse called her name, she shot me a glance of reluctant resignation and we followed the nurse to the examination room. We waited some more. "I don't know why you don't like him, Mom. You didn't even talk to him the last time we were here. You talked to the nurse the whole time while he talked with me. You could have listened to him, you know." She just shrugged.

The hated dermatologist came in and exclaimed how good she looked as he grabbed his magnifying goggles. Mom pointed out the areas on her scalp that were healed. He inspected each one. "I'm very pleased with your progress. We'll keep doing what we've been doing and I'll see you again in two months."

"Does she still have to shower every day?" I asked. Mom was sure he'd change that. She resists daily bathing.

"Always, from now on, daily showers," he said. He looked at her and explained, "When you don't shower, bacteria begins to grow on your skin and will make you itchy. That's why you had all those sores on your shoulders and scalp. Besides, showering is good for your brain." Mom perked up at that as the doctor went on to explain how our skin's nerve cells get super stimulated when we shower which in turn stimulates our brain. He didn't know he had just touched a hot button with my mother. She has always wanted to do good things for her brain--crossword puzzles, word searches, watching PBS specials with Dr. Amen, "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life." I hugged that dermatologist with my eyes!

"Will she be able to get her hair permed now?" I asked. He saw no problem at all, said she could go get a perm that very day. Mom floated out of his office on a cloud! She had been waiting six months for the sores to heal so she could get her hair permed.

As we walked to the car, Mom said, "Now HE was really nice. I liked him, didn't you, Donna?"

"I thought you hated him?"

"That wasn't the same doctor I saw before."

"Yes Mom. He's the same one."

"I don't believe it."

We drove away in silence until Mom said, "Having a bath everyday won't be so bad, I guess."


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Location:Gile Rd,Nottingham,United States