A New Season

Yesterday was the first sunny day since moving Mom into Wellstone House. I heard this weekend was supposed to be peak foliage in New Hampshire, and with rain in the forecast, we decided to take Mom on a foliage ride. Buck had scoped out a 2-hour ride through Deerfield, Northwood, Pittsfield and back through Rochester.

"My mother was crazy for foliage rides," said Mom from the front passenger seat.

"I remember those rides," I said. In truth, I think I remember them because of the small black and white images in Mom's box of pictures of Mom and Gram standing beside our 1954 Studebaker at a rest area we stopped at for a picnic lunch. Dad didn't leave the house without his Polaroid instant camera. And lunch was likely a loaf of Wonder bread, a package of veal loaf to slap between two slices of bread, some Wise potato chips and grape soda. At least that's what I remember of the many roadside picnic lunches from my childhood.

Mom exclaimed at the beautiful colors. "I've never seen trees look like this!" After Buck asked a couple of clarifying questions, she meant the trees we saw that were half red and half green. When Buck wondered if the ride was getting too long, Mom piped up, "Nope. I'm just along for the ride and I love it!"

From the back seat, I could sense she is happier than she's been in a very long time. I suspect even happier than when she lived over our garage. I know that things that used to annoy the heck out of me now endear her to me. How does that happen? In fact, I find myself more present with her now, whereas I used to be miles away in my thoughts during our numerous outings for doctor appointments, grocery shopping, or trips to Walmart. I resented her intrusion into my thoughts with inane, incessant comments about the stupid trees. I would think, "If she comments on one more tall tree, I'll scream!" Now, I'm searching for trees to point out to her!

It seems being a caretaker sucks the life out of relationship. Now that I'm not her caretaker, we are finding new life as mother and daughter. I'm still here to protect her and oversee her care without the daily grind of it all. I just feel blessed! It's a new season.


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