Legacy of Love

It's been 8-1/2 years since we moved Mom into her apartment over the garage. I wouldn't be honest if I said its been wonderful and easy, because it hasn't. It's been good, AND it's been challenging on many levels. Jo-Ann was supposed to be doing this. My role was supposed to be supportive. Mom and Jo-Ann were peas in a pod, so good together. I knew it from a young age and it really didn't bother me. I am an introvert, sticking to myself, taking care of myself--it was natural for me. Jo-Ann needed Mom in ways I never did; that was true even after we were grown with families of our own.

But Jo-Ann left us and I gradually made peace with the truth after Dad died that I was "It." As if Jo-Ann, from the grave, had touched me and said, "Tag! You're it." I love my mother dearly. She's been through a lot of heartache in her life. Still carries a heavy burden for her first born who somehow has been able to justify writing her out of his life as if she were some evil he must avoid. I know better. My mother has her flaws, has made bad decisions in her life (who hasn't), but she hasn't deserved this rejection from her first born. I see her pain and longing as she gets older and has to consider leaving this world without seeing him again. Brings tears to my eyes as I write this.

Mom living with us has had its challenges. In fact, my relationship with my mother over the years has had its challenges. As she celebrated her 86th birthday on October 28, I sat with my journal to compose a little verse for the card I made her. Here's what ended up on the page:

You gave me life
You gave me love
Without you I wouldn't be
Who I am today
Thank you for your
Example of being
A devoted wife
A loving mom
A doting grandmother
A devoted great grandmother
Your life is a legacy of love
I can only hope mine will be as well.