Slip-Slipping

We spent one of our more sad family days today to say our final goodbyes to Mary who lost her six-year leukemia battle 7 days ago. Mom was ready to go when we picked her up. I knew the day would be challenging, but didn't anticipate just how much until we met Rich, Kim, Kyle, and Sean in the church parking lot and she didn't know who Kyle and Sean were. I thought I'd lose it there, before the funeral even began.

During the half hour wait for the service to begin, she was confused and childlike--clingy and fidgety, like a toddler. I think she knew it was Mary's funeral, but when she had no idea who her grandsons were and their children to whom she has sent monthly cards to for the past several years, it hit me just how quickly she is slipping away.

I noticed her pretending to know people, telling me she recognized someone's face as someone she knew, but just couldn't remember their name. Each time, I knew she could not be recognizing the face because it was someone she had never met in her life.

The day grew increasingly exhausting at the gathering after the funeral as I tended to Mom. I had to repeat things over and over. I couldn't leave her alone too long because she seemed to need to have me in sight. She wanted hugs from every male in the room. "My husband died a long time ago so I don't get man-hugs anymore!" she said to each one.

She said to Kimberly several times, "You look just like your mother!" However, Kim resembles Mom's daughter JoAnn, not Mary. I suspect Mom was having a hard time confusing JoAnn and Mary.

What must it be like to be with people you know you are supposed to know but don't recognize? And what will it be like when she doesn't recognize me any more?

I'm so glad Kim had a chance to visit her Great Grandmother yesterday. And it was special for Mom to see Kim walk into her room at the Wellstone House.





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Location:Gile Rd,Nottingham,United States